If you've struggled with drinking or drug use, you may have found yourself asking, "Why can't I just stop?"

It's such a human question, and it often comes wrapped in a lot of shame. For many people, substance use began as a way to get through something painful. Here's a gentler way of understanding it, and how trauma-informed therapy can help.

If you're a therapist, you probably know the moment when a client feels truly understood. Their shoulders soften, and they finally say the thing they've been circling for weeks.

That's attunement. Here are some gentle reflections on what it is, what gets in the way, and small ways to deepen it.